Half past midnight, on a quiet main street. My friends and I had just left out friend's apartment and were cruising to Ihop for some serious munchies. I was parked in shotgun, my usual post, Jen behind and Eve driving. We were talking, amazed that my brother had actually performed well at the game that night, and hoping this unusual strain would continue. And then...

"Is that a butt?"

Come again? Heads snapped. And there it was, wiggling out of the side window of an SUV: pasty white boy arse, just bob-bob-bobbin' along.

Well now, isn't that a sight. I believe there was quite a bit of staring before we broke out into raucous laughter. Oh man. So what did I do?

Roll down the window and howl at the moon, of course. Eve joined me in the howling, then stopped. "It's not a full moon, just a crack," she reminded me.

Lesson here? Say no to crack, kids.

We slowed down to let them pass us, still howling with laughter. And they did, the white moon speeding past. Then they realized they were just mooning the wall now and stopped and, yes, backed up.

That takes dedication, lemme tell ya.

So what did I learn from that?

White ass does gleam in the moonlight. Crack kills.

And lastly, you'll never get cheekprints off your window. Never.